Tate delves into the unfiltered reality of motherhood. She candidly shares her journey, from the unexpected challenges like sleep deprivation to the profound shifts in perspective that come with bringing a child into the world. Offering advice to expecting mothers, Tate emphasizes the importance of trusting instincts and cherishing every moment. She reflects on the transformative nature of motherhood, highlighting the beauty of surrendering to a new purpose. Tate challenges societal expectations, debunking misconceptions and advocating for the value of staying home with children. Balancing self-care and the demands of motherhood, she navigates the complexities with honesty and resilience. Through it all, Tate finds pride in her body, her growth as a mother, and the love that fills her home, embodying the essence of maternal strength and resilience.
Life in Full Bloom: Navigating Motherhood with Tate from The Sunkissed Folk
What's the most surprising thing you discovered about motherhood that no one warned you about?
How little sleep you get and have to function on haha. you can’t call in sick you just have to front up regardless. Not sure this is to surprising but it genuinely hits like nothing else you’ve ever experienced before. Sleep deprivation has probably been the hardest part to discover.
How has becoming a mother changed your perspective on life and the world around you?
Everything changes, everything shifts, nothing matters more than that beautiful bundle of joy you’ve just brought earth side. Perspective on life changes, you want nothing but the best for them you want to raise them surrounded by love and in a strong household. Creating a life that is full of adventure, memories, joy and lots of laughs. Protecting them yet watching them flourish and evolve is everything.
What advice would you give to expecting mothers based on your own experiences?
Trust yourself, trust your instincts, trust your gut & your body. Your body was built to do this incredible thing, listen to it, go with it. Hold your baby every second you can, take a break when you need it, but hold onto every little cuddle, everytime they sleep on you, every hand hold. Hold onto the moments even when your in the thick of it and your so tired, hold onto every little detail for as long as you can.
Can you share a memorable moment that made you feel like you were truly embracing the role of "mum"?
Not one particular moment but from the moment they arrive, your whole life changes, you are theirs and they are yours. You have this whole new purpose to surrender to and it is beautiful.
How do you balance the different aspects of your life while also being a dedicated mother?
Pre kids I used to be or think I was very organised everything was planned out, not long after having our first I very quickly learnt that “going with the flow” is a much simpler and calmer approach just letting go of what you think (or society puts on you) in order to be productive. I feel like we just navigated our way so much smoother when we dropped all the pressure of having to have everything run at an organized scale. Balance is a tricky one, we have 3 kids now, everything we do is for them. I genuinely mean that when I say it, hubby works full time and I get a little work here and there through social media . We haven’t had date night in almost 8 years. We don’t have family or friends close enough to us. I honestly don’t feel like we miss out too much though, We are always up for an adventure (running on 2 hours sleep and all), It comes down to doing what’s right for us and what’s right for our family. We just work together on our different needs, communication is the number one key.
In what ways do you think society's expectations of mothers have evolved over the years?
This is a tough one, Unfortunately I feel like there is a lot of pressure on mothers no matter what their circumstance is (stay at home or return to work). I genuinely wish there wasn’t such a push or such a negative connotation to mothers who choose to stay home vs mothers who return to work (on both fronts). Neither is an easy decision, both are incredibly tough. I feel like there is a lot to learn and relearn as a society about what is right for the parents and what is right for the child (children), I feel very drawn to returning to the slow, and allowing mothers to take things slow, the way things where meant to be, the way things where done years and years ago without the hustle, without the need to be ALWAYS doing something, our kids are our biggest teachers and when we get them involved in everything we do it might slow us down but isn’t that the point?
What are some common misconceptions about motherhood that you'd like to debunk?
Breastfeeding comes naturally and is easy…whilst I’ve been incredibly fortunate to feed all 3 of my babies, I struggled with so much pain the first 6 weeks with our first I had to reach out and see a consultant for help and that’s OK. It’s ok to seek help, it’s ok to say you need help.
A desire to stay at home with your kids signifies a lack of intelligence, motivation and competency….. While it is becoming more encouraging for mothers to stay at home, it’s still very undervalued in our society and the stigma associated with it still holds. The lack of encouragement to support a women’s intuition to stay home and raise her babies in a flourishing environment should be applauded, supported and highly encouraged in this current day.
How do you prioritise self-care and maintain your own identity while fulfilling the responsibilities of motherhood?
Oh gosh this is another tough one!! I’ve said several times now and shared with others who feel the same, when I became a mother I felt like I lost a part of me but upon reflection it’s almost like a rebirth for yourself too. There’s a reason why you might pop into your wardrobe and nothing feels like you, you’ve changed, you’ve shifted, your growing and learning all whilst raising littles who are solely dependent on you too. You are a new you, you might have pieces of the old you but you have changed. I go back and forth with myself on this still! Self care at the moment is the 30 minute break you get once all three kids are finally asleep for the night and it might be a gua sha facial or painting my nails haha.
What's the most challenging part of being a mother, and how do you overcome those challenges?
Balance, patience, kindness to your self, being enough for all three kids, my partner and myself battling with the am I good enough days…… Overcoming those well I am very fortunate to have a partner who is incredibly honest, loving, supporting and a great communicator so we balance each other out, we know our ques and when one of us needs a chop out or a hug or just a good chat.
Looking back on your journey as a mother, what are you most proud of?
First of all my body, if you actually sit back and think about pregnancy, birth & beyond it’s truely miraculous and I’ll forever be in awe of my body for that. I’m proud of the way I’ve grown into the role, the lessons I learn daily, there is so much love in our house our kids are our biggest supporters and I’m so proud of how we are raising them, how much we’ve gone through and over come.
Follow Tate's journey of raising 3 little humans here.